Honestly, there are no rules, but it would be nice for all of us to have some decency when it comes to how we deal with one another and the life of collecting things we love. So, here's my take and just a few suggestions. Some borrowed from Etiquette and Tips when Antiqueing by The Blaawklippen Family Market Blog.
First and foremost, from experience, this is what has worked for me thus far, and as with all things it becomes a learn as I go experience.
- Do what is fair and right, when collecting. What you see and others see is the same, you can say to everyone in your collecting circle, that is my ISO and what I'm looking for. But should someone else find it or win it instead of you, you should not hate the person, disrespect them or shun them for that. Collecting is just that, we find great deals, great. If someone else beats us to the great deal, oh well, it wasn't meant to be yours, be happy for them! You will eventually find it yourself, in time.
From experience, It disappoints me, when I see and read a collector, telling others in the circle, "Oh, she outbidded me on that item and that was my ISO. I hate her for doing that. Why? All is fair in love of bidding, buying, and collecting. Yes, you put your ISO out there and others might view it as an ISO they've wanted as well, but are not prone to announcing it for all to know. Okay, so you didn't win, let it go. Try to find another. Don't hate others for or get mad at them if they got the item instead of you. I used to be afraid to say I had an ISO, because it was viewed as the wrong thing to do, others will want what you want, and it makes it harder for you in the end to find one for yourself. But, believe it or not, nowadays, there are good people and those who are willing to help you find that particular item. So, this has become a blessing, and others are more willing to point you out in the right direction. Besides, hate, begets hate, and that's no fun.
- Be courteous with one another. When you ask another collector if they are or aren't interested in an item, that you may want for yourself.
From experience, when someone politely asks you if you are going to bid or buy a certain item, you need to be honest. Whether it's between friends or just a fellow collectors, let one another know. That way in the end, your friend and on a future item find, you'll both get the best price for that vintage find. I think this is a bit of a give an take situation between mostly close collector friends and it can be helpful and nice. But, I'm sure there is the opposite and things can get nasty too. If that happens, then the earlier rule is the best way to go.
- Share your knowledge about things you find. I'm an advocate for sharing what I find. It is my hope that from what I share, if it can help others in their pursuit of finding the same item or have more knowledge about that item, then I'm for it!
From experience, Why be so selfish. I've had fellow collectors tell me not to share certain dolls or information about them, for fear that others will want to find that doll as well. That also, because I've shared info. on that doll, I've created a demand for it. I feel, whether we like it or not, a demand will happen. If you've shared a photo of something you collect or love, the demand is already there.
- Be mindful of others feelings and have respect for one another as collectors. Though I may have said, all is fair in our love of collecting. Still be mindful of others, and don't say or share things that may hurt them, just to get back at them or for whatever reason. It's just plain wrong.
From experience, Okay, so you won that item. Don't show off, and don't brag about it either. I'm a firm believer of Karma, and what you put out into the world, is exactly what you will get back. Just think first, "Would I want something like that done to me?"
- Don't burn your bridges. When you become close to other collectors, that's great and you've made a good friend. They probably helped you find an ISO, or even directed you to one they had in their collection themselves and are offering it to you. Having a person you can relate to helps, and having one that loves the same things you do, is even better and a blessing!
From experience, not everyone is easy to talk too or good at emailing back and forth. And that's okay. If they aren't used to being talkative or writing emails often, don't get mad or think that, "Oh, I don't think she likes me anymore." No, you have to remember, everyone is different and the way we all communicate with one another is different too. It's okay, if your not social, nothing wrong with that. Please don't force yourself on others either. We have many talents, gifts, and knowledge we can share or gain from one another. If there was a minor misunderstanding try your best to work it out. Most often it is just miscommunication. But, if that person, won't forgive or forget. Let it be and move on. It is a lesson learned, and that's life.
- For the love of collecting, Be kind. It makes a difference in our world nowadays, where there is so much violence and hate, and lies. Being kind matters... Kindness, matters. We all love, what we love and collect, what we collect. Enjoy it and be kind to others when you are collecting. It makes for a better world, a better people, better life...
From experience, I've made so many dear friends in this love for collecting. Some have come and gone. Some have only used me for my knowledge and experience. Am I bitter for it, nope. If I was able to help them at that point, that makes me happy. Do I hate them for it, nope. It is what it is, and I'm happy to have been helpful to them, when they needed me. So, I move on, and it is okay. I'm here still, if they need me. Because for me, being kind, is what my mother, Rita, instilled in me.
Just my take. If I find other points to add, I will update it here. Just remember, let's make collecting fun and safe. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you feel is 'Fair in Collecting'? Comment below.
Love you guys, ~ ggsdolls
Updated: 11/27/2018
I was asked to add one...
- Collectors as sellers. As collectors we all want the best deals, doesn't everyone? But, you also have to remember that we were not sellers at first, we are buyers just like you. Please be courteous to the seller you are buying from. Asking for a cheaper deal or questioning their items or prices, is just an insult. Come on guys, if you were at a Gap Store or Walmart, do you go up to the cashier and barter for a cheaper price? The person you are buying from is a small business, at most, a collector themselves trying to make back what they spent on that item, and the work they put into getting it. Please read some of the examples given on, "11 Etiquette to observe when buying from a dealer." Numbers 1, 4, 5, 8, and 9.
From experience, Buyers need to realize all the work we put into our purchases, and then, into our sales. I'm not an Apple Store or Amazon, making millions of dollars. I'm just one person trying to get by, just like you. I hope this helps buyers better understand, the research we do to find what we have, the emailing back and forth with original seller, buying the item, and later selling that item. It's not an easy task, and does contribute to the end price of what we sell to you, the collector.
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